Top Signs: More Words of Wisdom
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More Words of Wisdom 1) Home is where you can say anything you like 'cause nobody listens to you anyway. 2) I live in my own little world, but it's ok... they know me here. 3) Regular naps prevent old age ... especially if you take them while driving. 4) Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you won't either. 5) I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected. (AMEN) 6) If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway? 7) How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America? 8) If women can have PMS, then men can have ESPN. 9) I have learned there is little difference in wives, so you might as well keep the first. 10) There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead's. 11) Travel is very educational. I can now say 'Kaopectate' in seven different languages. 12) I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. 13) Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive. 14) No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning. 15) Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well? 16) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy. 17) Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked? 18) I mixed Rogaine with Viagra... now I've got hair like Don King. 19) I just got back from a pleasure trip... I drove my wife to the airport! 20) My wife and I were happy for twenty years ... then we met. |